When my bf !st moved in, he said that he feels my ex has a hold on me. I feel that he doesnt come to church with me as often because my ex goes there. I really love my church and am a member and wont stop going, Last week when we went, he shook my exes hand and i was surprised. Today me and my bf had an argument and he said %26quot;why dont you go back to your ex%26quot;. I told my bf that i feel like i dont exist anymore and it has gotten worse since the baby was born. I am hurt by some things he has said to me whole i was pregnant, in the beginning; he spoke of marriage and as his financial situation changed, so has his attitude. he snaps and has said that he never said that he would take care of me and that he is only here for his daughter. after we talked things out, he said lets forget about the past and try the %26quot;family%26quot; thing. i dont feel in his actions that he truly loves me anymore. he isn%26#039;t as affectionate and his kisses feel empty. i feel like this relationship is a convenience. i am mad at myself for making bad decisions. I am also ashamed that i had this child out of wedlock. everytime i try to move forward, i cangt seem to get over the past. it has hurt me and i am not healed. when i express my concerns, he feels i am complaining and he feels attacked whihc caused him to lash out and say hurtful things. i really want things to work out but i feel like i am the only one making efforts where as he is quick to leave and say he is tired of trying to please me. i told him that if i were really that unhappy, i would ask him to leave (since this is my house). i make him feel welcome in my home. he doesnt always pay the rent ontime, but i am patient with him because he tries when he is able in terms of groceries, chores and bills.i am jsut not so sure if this relationship will work since our communication is poor and results in a shouting match. When he is upset, he says whatever comes off the top of his ehad. when he cools off, his head is more clear. i told him he needs anger management. his anger is triggering some bad habits, like cussing, that i have buried years ago. i asked him how he feels he is settign a good example for his daugher by his actions and he got mad and wanted to leave. he wanst willing to go to doc visits with me while i was pregnant and made excuses when i confronted him now that the baby is born, he does whatever it takes. the love he has for her is not the love he has for me and i feel that his own flesh and blood is the only thing that matters. i feel like i dont exist to him anymore. i dont feel passion when we kiss or hold hands. i had a weird dream that he was fooling around. i also had a dream that i had this baby before i even knew i was pregnant. i am in denial and am confused. what do i do?|||Relationships are alot of work and when a baby is introduced into the equation, it%26#039;s even harder! Perhaps you should sit down with him and tell him these feelings that you%26#039;re having. Let him know how much you love him and still want to stand by his side. Have his dinner ready when he comes home and take the time to snuggle up with him on the couch with your child. Play with your child with him when he comes home. Have sex with him (if it%26#039;s not too early after your childbirth) and wear sexy little outfits around him. Above all let him know how special he is to you. If he doesn%26#039;t feel like he%26#039;s loved and wanted in the relationship, he%26#039;s going to walk.
Having said all this, I understand that you may find it hard to do all of this while not feeling loved and appreciated yourself. The bottom line is MOST (not all) men are selfish and proud. He won%26#039;t make the first step (even though he probably wants to) in reconciling the relationship, it%26#039;s always left up to the woman. It%26#039;s up to you (I know how unfair this is believe me, but it%26#039;s true). when he mentions your ex, he only does it because he knows it gets to you. Don%26#039;t let him see that it does and he will stop.
Good luck! I really hope this helps! :)|||if you%26#039;re not feeling the passion anymore, then perhaps you need to be with a man who you have better chemistry with.|||Your boyfriend is jealous. He doesn%26#039;t like that you had a past with another guy. He%26#039;s overly protective. Just sit cuddle and just talk to him. and ask him how he feels about it or what he thinks about things and have him talk to you more. if he starts yelling at you just hug him or tell him you love him. This will make him realize he is yelling at you and stop. Ask him if he cares about you anymore. Ask him what he wants out of your relationship.|||You know exactly how your feeling and why you are feeling the way you do. You may be unsure as to what you should do considering you have a daughter with this man and that is understandable. Seems to me that due to the fact that this pregnancy was not planned that the reality of taking care of a baby has come sooner than each of you may have expected. To know that he did not even want to go to the doctors visits with you while pregnant sounds like your man is in denial.
If he really cares for you and loves you then you both should be working at saving the relationship. You cannot and should not expect to do it alone. If he is not willing to work with you, then you need to do what you have to do for you and your child. A child should not be raised in that type of enviornmet. The child should should be in a loving atmosphere. Not to say that all relationships are perfect and you won%26#039;t have arguments, however communication is a key factor to having a healthy relationship. You definitely want someone to love you the way you love them. You may have to give him the hee ho, get the steppin, see ya wouldn%26#039;t want to be ya, I can do bad by myself. That is your home sweet home and you can do without all that drama if he does not want to get it together. If he is cheating, that is automatic eviction. Do what is best for you and your child. He may be the babies dad, but there is more to being a father than just planting the seed. Your not confused. You just need to put your foot down and let him know that there is zero tolerance for this immature behavior. As far as whether he loves you the way you love him, the best way to know this is through his actions. Actions speak louder than words. Now you may be in denial about that. It is definitely difficult to accept the fact that a person doesn%26#039;t love you the way you love them. Love is. It is not something that needs to be forced.
