Am I going mad here; what can I do with these situations?
today my little brother who is 16 spat at me and threw half a glass of water at me. I got depressed at some of the things he said about me. He called me a slag, freak and a flop (meaning low life since i'm not employed and i've been told before that i'm not going to do anything). he was about to punch me because i threw a plate on the floor, which broke and was scattered all over the floor etc..
people doubt me and i've also been abused because some couldnt control their anger and i got mouthy. i'm hopeless. its easy to extinguish any thing that builds up, either by my own short comings or someone else has a go at me.
i was a different person about a year ago, and it seems tht time has flew by so quickly. I have changed back to the perosn I was beofre I changed this time last year.
it's easy to say all this on here, but no one is going to really care, since we're strangers.
i feel like i only do things for other people but not with the right intentions, but with cruel ones.
today i hit my little brother who's about 8 a few times and tried to hit him on the head with an orange. i got mouthy and rude to my mum. i promised her that i wont be rude etc.. about a year ago. shes sort of naive and i get annoyed with her because it takes ages for her to understand things. i just think she dumb at times. i'm not really bright myself; thats probably because i'm been at home for over a year. i havent been doing anything really productive.
my brother brings up my past, that he heard crap from his friends about me, and also some of which is fiction. that really winds me up. i try to not let these situations get the best of my but they do. i'm sick of myself, my life etc
i see a phychiatrist every month but i think all of that is a whole load of bullshi**. i cant be bothered. i used to have depression (it seemingly was), and used to abuse myself, as well as having suicidal thoughts.
now its like i don't really care about the world around me or if i do, its about what other people think. i;'m unjust, a wannabe; just a fake.
i don't feel like i enjoy anything in life except for eating, internet, and watching television. i don't know.
i'm 18 next month.
there are a few more problems i guess.
i'm sick of having to stay in my room because there is hardly anything i can do apart from reading.
i'm not much of a reader and my english is pretty crap
i don't think i'll even get a job and i think i'm too underqualified for that as well
i'm also i'll but the doctors think its a whole load of nonsense. if i do tell them this problem they'll think i'm just usuiing my imagination. i've had this problem for about three years; acutally over three years
i'm hopeless
it would be a whole lot simpler if i just didnt exist
Am I going mad here; what can I do with these situations?
Look, dude: Here's the thing. First off, you need to forget about what everyone else thinks, says, etc. At the end of your life (which is always a lot sooner than you think) you're only going to have one person to answer to. And that's YOU! There's nothing wrong with being a misanthrope, etc. However, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, start spending that time in your room wisely. Figure out what it is in life that you are truly PASSIONATE about. Then, ignore everyone else and pursue whatever it is that does it for you. You need passion, kid. If you can get a little of that, then, as shitty as this world is, at least you'll have something to contribute. And that, my friend, is the only thing that makes life bearable. Your problem is that you simply cannot face reality. Do you think you're the only one? I mean, obviously from your question, I know you have it in you to be a good person. And it's okay that there's a tragedy in you -- just like in me. But until you find a way to produce something of value for yourself, you just won't be able to deal with the world around you in any meaningful way.
Am I going mad here; what can I do with these situations?
my copeing methods are to paint mostly.
i have a hard time reading because of the voices.
